At some point, young kids figure out how to drive adults crazy. My neighbors kids like to throw their toys off the balcony, and no matter how many times their grunting dad has to march down to get them demanding for them to stop, they never do. My theory is the throwing part is actually not as fun as they make it appear. The real fun part is observing how angry their father gets walking down the stairs each time, picking up the toys, then each time giving them back to them. I think the toddlers find it fascinating how he never figures out that if he were to just not give the toys back, they would no longer throw them.
Then there is the infamous three letter, one syllable word that every kid picks up that can be used infinitely… WHY. Anything anyone says can be returned with “why”. It’s infuriating. It can literally go on forever. Kids use this to be funny, but really it’s an amazing diversion tool. When told to go clean their room, they answer with why. When told why, they ask why. Etc, etc, etc.
Adults, especially in our culture with all of our available therapies, exit routes, and excuses have found a simple phrase that works for anything. “I’m Not Ready.” As much as I am a supporter of psychology, the practice of story telling…and re-telling… often times keeps someone in a place where they could easily exit, be free from, and become ready should they chose.
In some circumstances, this is a valid answer and feeling. But just open your mind for a moment and think about your whole life. How often have you really been ready for anything? Life is about adjustment, it’s just the way it works.
Addicts of any substance or lifestyle use this a lot. I’m not ready. Its a nearly un debatable response that works in every situation where change or evolution is possible. “I know how I am.” “I have to do it my way.” It’s a great way out, and it’s a great way to get people to leave you alone and not hold you accountable. Our friends, our family, our partners- you may be an individual but our entire world, its made up of people. Without other people you don’t get to be anyplace.
My team sees this a lot with weight loss. “I’m not ready to go on a diet right now, I’m too overwhelmed with other things.” Other things like not being able to do fit in your favorite jeans, go up a flight of stairs without being winded, or god forbid just walk into a room and not feel self conscious. All those things seem pretty overwhelming.
Its all about how YOU wish to live. There’s nothing in the world that can keep me from living my best life, but ME. We all have the choice to live in the perpetual circle of readiness and why, it’s up to you to jump off that merry-go-round.
When we sit and wait to be ready, its like clicking the ignore button when our computer wants to run an update. Eventually you are running on a old system, with old quirks, designed for a different time. You wonder why things get worse, hiccup and shut down. You are an iPad2 running on a DOS system.
Is it the chicken or the egg that comes first? Sometimes in order to move on…to move forward… you have to do just that- move. Life becomes non-linear when you focus on the integrity of the goal. If the goal is to live a happy, healthy, successful, elaborate, well-designed life, then the only way to do that is to DO it. Ready or not, your life is waiting.