Decisions. Choices. Meanings. Stories. Blame. Fear. Anger.
This is the inner workings of the machine that is YOU. Humans are full of “one or the others’. Full of stories about our past. Why someone said something, how it made us feel, what it made us do, all the things we can’t do now because this and that happened and you can’t fix it because it was followed by that event…
This involuntary thought process is the accelerator for most if not all problems we face everyday. It’s what leads to emotional eating, procrastination, addiction, divorce, self sabotage and reality television.
In [real] REALITY, things just happen. It is us, complicated and fascinating, that make the stories that go with it all. Instead of living in a world of simple facts, events, and leaving the past where it belongs; we perceive it, connect it to any number of emotions, and make it fact. Each time something happens that is relevant to the story, we take it on as evidence that our story, based on emotion, is what actually happened. Everyone around you is doing this, therefore, no one is ever looking at anything the same way, ever.
What we are all trying to do is protect ourselves. The more stories we have, the safer we are. Think about it. We never have to take responsibility because we can keep ourselves from being wrong, bad, dominated, and at fault. We ALWAYS end up as the victim in our stories. We ALWAYS GET TO BE RIGHT.
I love being right. I think out of everything the world has to offer, being right is totally my favorite.
I want to be right because it proves against a story I have in my past. Every time something happens or someone does something, I get to throw a big juicy piece of evidence in this truck of stories that I have been driving around my whole life. More proof that I am in fact… right about EVERY THING. This becomes incredibly convenient when you are in a relationship. Or at a work place where you are not the boss. Or on a diet. Parents are a great place to find evidence.
What ends up happening here is we become slaves to our stories. Everyone and everything around us becomes apart of it and nothing is ever real. A new relationship is never new, its just an extension of the handful you’ve had before. In fact, the more relationships you’ve HAD the worse they GET, because the story just gets bigger and YOU KEEP TELLING IT. With every crash diet you do, that doesn’t work because they are not designed to, you add another piece of PROOF that you are going to be fat forever.
So. I have a challenge. Start thinking. Realize that in life things just happen. That’s all. Things happen because they happen, no reason. No story. A lot of people deal with some major stuff and this can be difficult. Abusive parents, rape, death, abuse in relationships. Through these experiences we build stories about them, keeping the events alive and essentially search for other tools to cope. We torture ourselves and the people around us, all for something we are powerless to change. I am not trying negate the power of an experience, what I am trying to convey is the power of YOU as a human being. The power of choice and decision. To recognize the voice in your head that tells you that because your parents didn’t show you adequate love or god forbid were abusive, that now and forever you aren’t worth love from anyone. The latter is a choice YOU make and can be over ridden at any moment. The best news is two fold: 1. Nothing bad that has happened is happening NOW. 2. You can be brilliant, perfect, and effective in life in lieu of anything that happens to you
There is so much opportunity for an amazing life, regardless of what has happened to you in the past that you equate to what makes you YOU. You can transform the way you think at any moment. If you want to lose weight, do it. Let go of the reasons and events that you have gathered as to why you shouldn’t, can’t or won’t. We come up with reasons not to based on our stories and everything you are afraid of. Fear keeps us away from so much. When you think about how much you miss out on because of fear, it will nauseate you. Fear that your partner will leave you, that you’ll lose your job, that people wont like you, that you wont look good, or that your kids will turn out to ax murderers. None of those stories matter because you are powerless against them.
Start now, as this right here can be a perfect moment if you make it. You are you, perfect in every way.